An Ill-Formed Jigsaw Called Life

Right now it feels as though my world has shattered, and I'm trying to hold the pieces together like some ill-formed jigsaw puzzle.
Okay so it's obviously not that bad but it really feels like it sometimes.
-Two of my best friends are dating (I'm worried they'll break up)
-Two of my housemates are dating (If they break up it'll be awkward)
-I'm essentially broke until Friday
-I'm owed about $300 that I'm not sure I'm getting back
-My grandpa has cancer
-My uncle/godfather may have cancer
-I'm worried I'm developing a drinking problem
-I don't feel happy much anymore
-There are more downs than ups in my life
-I can't afford to move out
-It seems like everyone is getting into relationships (I can't be in one)
-I rarely see my best friends anymore
-The first friend I made in Nanaimo is moving on the 1st
So yeah. My life is crap right now. On the plus side I'm getting a kitten soon. I'm really happy about that.

Drowning in Air

Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning
It’s not a normal drowning
Like in water,
Or some other liquid form
It’s drowning in shadows,
Drowning in air
It’s a force I can’t fight against
And it’s consuming me

Grow Up

I’m so sick
Of your attitude
Not sure what I did to deserve it.
And would it kill you,
To be civil?
Sure I have my faults,
I don’t deny it
The way you claim I do.

You can’t seem to get your life in control
And it feels like you’re blaming it on me.
Yes I complain, I scream, throw fits
And I know I’m pessimistic-
(realistic)
But is it really enough
To deserve your bitchery?

So grow up-
You’re older than me,
Act like it.
Life won’t always go your way
And you need to get used to it.

Life Is...Livable?

So lately there hasn't been anything to drive me to my computer; angry, upset, and desperate to release my frustration by way of pixels.
I just got paid today so I'm not horribly broke anymore (for now). Because of this I don't hate my job quite so much.
My housemates have been pretty good lately. They still annoy me at times but it's nothing I can't live with.
The only thing that's really bothering me right now is my favorite pair of jeans don't fit anymore. They are too big. They used to fit my perfectly. Also my belt, which I used to only be able to get to the 4th hole (if it was tight) now goes to the 6th, no problem. And it's not healthy weight loss, it's 'not eating' weight loss. *sigh*

I Miss The Slow Life

I work for a large, falsely cheerful, soulless corporation.
I hate my job for the most part. And I've only been there for 4 shifts.

I don't really drink often but I came home after my shift ended and poured myself a quarter glass of rye which I proceeded to drink straight. I felt better after. My headache went away and I felt slightly distanced from my job. This was a good feeling. However, I know it's stupid to use alcohol to deal with issues so I won't do it often.
Apparently (according to my friends who have worked for bigger companies) the self disgust fades after a while. Apparently one day I'll be able to distance myself from work without any help. I hope that day is soon. At the same time I hope it never comes, because that would mean I've resigned myself to my fate (ie job).

Goddamn conundrums...

Mmm...Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

This weekend was a good one.

I found out Friday that my grandpa's tumor was successfully removed and all he has is a bald patch and a bit of a headache.

A lot of things happened yesterday so here's a brief overview:
-I met a very nice deaf man waiting for the bus
-My parents took me out for lunch
-I got to see the New York Skyline (made out of gift cards!) toppled
-I got a job!!!!
-I was given a piece of homemade apple pie
-I got a pair of black, sensible work shoes for $2
-I finally got to drink some of the rye I got for my birthday

Today I went on the Hike for Hospice which raised more than $30 thousand. There was a little rain but it didn't really start pouring until virtually everyone was already eating. I got a free pen and food. The hamburgers were really good.

I don't think the weekend could have been better if it tried.