This Fragile Tower of Sanity is Crumbling at my Feet

So I have no idea what the fuck is going on anymore. I'm having a great day, then I find out my grandpa had a stroke. He wakes up and is doing fine and then it turns out he has a tumor in his brain which caused said stroke. And my mom hasn't told me basically anything, I tend to hear it from my uncle or my grandma. (This happened over a few days)
I had a good day today but I got home and my best friend sent me an email saying that my mom told her about my grandpa. Now I'm worried that something else has happened. For all I know though, it's nothing. Just the stuff I already knew. But she's at work and can't reply to my somewhat anxious email, asking what she heard. I don't blame her or anything, but I'm pretty freaked.
So assuming my grandpa is still alive he has surgery tomorrow. I mentioned this to the people I worked with who apologized for booking me to work then. I told them it was okay and that I want to keep busy.
For that reason I'm thinking about going to F&I this Saturday. But I haven't decided yet.

Scariest moment ever? My mom started crying.

So this weekend my Grandpa had a stroke. He's doing better but it was pretty major and he's going to be in the hospital for a while. I'm so glad I live nearby now though. Before it would have been pretty much impossible to visit him. Now it's just a bus ride away.

Projecting...? Me...? Never.

So I just found out today that two of my best friends are dating. And honestly I'm confused. I'm not sure how to cope with this.
Not only did I never (ever in a thousand years!) picture these two together, I'm not sure they did either. Not really at least.
Don't get me wrong, I really hope things work out between them but if it doesn't I know things will be...difficult. I know from personal experience that dating friends can end up very messy. And awkward. And painful.

Yes I'm a control freak, so something like this coming at me from hell ass nowhere is...borderline disturbing.
My one friend asked if I thought badly of him for it. Honestly I don't but I worry about the outcome of the relationship.
I'm very confused.
It also seems kinda like a jump-in-with-both-feet-before-testing-the-water situation. But I wasn't there so I could be wrong. I'm probably wrong. But who knows, right?

To be completely honest I'm not sure why this is bugging me so much. I really wish I knew. Then again, maybe it's better if I don't.

Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows~

So next Thursday at 3 o'clock (after my volunteer work thank god) I have a job interview. For a candy shop no less! I'm pretty psyched. All I have to do is bring my references.
On another note I have to pay some bills today (they're due tomorrow) and do my laundry. I'd also like to wash my hair but that can wait till tomorrow if I don't have time today.

On yet another note, I'm dressing up as a pirate for Christmas this year. I'm pretty psyched because I'll be making/altering the majority of the costume. That and it's pretty much going to be the house theme. Yay for our Jolly Roger that caused this lovely idea.
xD

*EDIT*
I'm dressing up as a pirate for Halloween this year. 'Christmas' is a typo. However, it's hilarious so I'm not going to change it. Just point it out at the bottom of the post. Like so.

For Everything Else There's My Fist In Your Face

My day has been one big neurotic break down since my housemates left and I came out of my room. This is bad because I've devolved to yelling at a cat, screaming at no one in the garage, and throwing things while yelling about how messy my housemates are. I'm a little worried I'm approaching my breaking point.
I don't know how much longer I can deal with this. I hate it here. Not here: the city I'm in. I love it. But here: my house. It has become a penitentiary to me.

I want out! But I don't want to move back in with my parents. I want to stay in the area. Just not the house.

...I think I'm going to go throw more things...

Meaningless Emo Rant

I don't feel like I'm wanted here at all anymore. It's like none of my housemates give a shit that I'm depressed and that I might-MIGHT-want to be included. Anytime I pop downstairs to talk or whatever they are all doing something together. And it's like they can't wait for me to leave. Because of course, they all stop what they're doing until I leave. I'm not sure if I prefer it to being completely ignored. Which is what happens the other half of the time.
Even now my throat is clogged up (and not just because I think I'm coming down with a cold) because NONE OF THEM ASKED IF I WAS OKAY, OR IF I WANTED TO JOIN THEM. It's not difficult. All I need is a few words. Some sign that they actually care about me or at least slightly enjoy my company.

Oh and on top of that someone else may be moving in; Rs. I don't know him and this was basically agreed upon two days before anyone told me. And I was only told because I mentioned using the office for tutoring. But that was shot down immediately because poor little Rs doesn't like his current housemates. Boo-hoo. Neither do I. Doesn't mean I'm going to move in with people when one or more of them don't 100% approve.
And the way things stand right now it's going to be a year before I can move out.

Nothing takes the enjoyment out of life like reality.

Just Fading Away

I'm starting to feel like I don't live in my own house. Okay...so it's not just mine. I have to share it with four other people. Three of which are 'as thick as thieves'. They're downstairs in R's room right now. I can hear them laughing through the floor. It's a touch annoying. It's like all they care about is themselves. I almost feel like-scratch that, I do feel like-they would prefer me gone. I'm kind of sick of them. I mean logically I have nothing against K, C and R are a different story but that's not important right now...So yeah logically I don't have a problem with K but she's super close to C and now R, plus she and R have been doing grocery shopping lately (I like to do it, they don't look for bargains, they get unnecessary or expensive crap, they don't get the right things I ask for, etc.).
Aside from that I now refuse to clean up messes that aren't mine so there's crap all over the place. None of which is mine. I don't really have anything to tie me to this place other than my room. Needless to say it's a depressing situation.
Anyway, that's all I have to say for now.

Bed Is Good---

So I haven't had much sleep the past couple days (Yesterday it was my housemates' fault-waking me up twice after I went to bed) and I would love nothing more than to pass out right now but I can't because I have to do laundry before I visit my parents this weekend. It would have been done by now except R is doing his laundry too. So the moment my clothes are in the dryer I'm going to sleep. I'll fold them tomorrow...
u-u

So Dinner Was A Non-Event, For Me

Today I spent about an hour making dinner. I was thinking, "Hey, it'll be nice for everyone to have dinner together." It wasn't anything super special, just a tuna casserole, but I worked hard on it.
Anyway, I pulled it out of the oven and left it to cool off for a little bit. A minute or two later my housemates came back and I said, "You're just in time for dinner!"
No reply.
So I said, "The top came out a little wrong but it shouldn't be-Oh," I had stepped out of the kitchen into the other room to speak more directly with my housemates. I then noticed the KFC bag on the coffee table. "...Oh, you guys already got dinner. Never mind then."
I was honestly a little crushed. K said, "Yeah." R apologized. I told them it was okay and that they didn't know. I also said that it would keep for a couple days in the fridge. They seemed to feel a little better, at least R did. I don't really think K or C cared very much.
So I got myself a plate and went to my room to eat (I've been avoiding C, we got into a huge fight that I didn't post here, I find it's easier to deal with her when I don't have to deal with her :P). I still feel a little dejected but I know it wasn't like they said something like, "Well since we knew you were cooking Natasha, we decided to get take out."
Yeah...pretty sure that would have depressed the hell out of me. Damn, just thinking about it is depressing.